I don't think it is bipolar. I've been feeling like this since maybe 14 or so. That would be 13 years. I didn't get into therapy until I was 18 after my father passed away. I found one therapist that was helpful, but my insurance changed and she wasn't covered. The ones after her I didn't like and I gave up on it. After that I didn't really do anything, but try to manage the best I could. I made improvements in my life and got through school. There were ups and downs, but I think I was so busy with engineering school I didn't pay much attention to it. Around last October I noticed starting to feel down a lot, well just about everyday I felt down. This lasted a few months until January. In January I started to eat better and then started exercising. It helped some. The last couple weeks I have been eating good, but I haven't worked out.

I went to the doctor last week and she prescribed an AD (fluoxetine 20 mg). I go back in 3 more weeks to talk to her again. I need to get back into therapy. I'm looking for someone who has evening hours, to work with my schedule.

I don't think it is bipolar because I don't really have mood swings. It's like going from normal to a little worse, then a little worse the next day to the point were everything feels hopeless all the time. I tell myself this is just the depression making me feel this way. My self esteem also tanks with my mood, so usually when I get depressed I am real down on myself.

My sleep is all over the place sometimes. Yesterday I cam home and went to bed because I felt that was the best thing to do since I was feeling so bad. I slept for 14 hours I think and then went to work today. I usually sleep for 6-7 hours on the weekdays and I sleep in on the weekends. When I feel really depressed I sleep until Sarah gets me up. She usually wakes me after 12 hours, but Ive slept for 18 hours before. I think I like sleeping because I don't have to for miserable. It's like a break from feeling depressed. I don't know what my official diagnosis is. My T never talked about it. She just said it was depression. I don't know if I would have understand the difference in the types of depression at the time either.