(((Dave))) I'm sorry you're having a hard time. My Father had a pretty tough time dealing with my Mother's passing, but his way of dealing with it was to be completely controlling. Dealing with this kind of stuff when I'm in a good place is hard. Dealing with it depressed must be horrible. One thing I do when someone leaves an angry message on my machine when I'm there is either shut it off or turn it down so I can't hear it. Then I erase it without listening to it. You don't need that garbage right now. It sounds like your plate is full and he needs to get support from someone else. My thoughts are with you. I'm sure you'll get through this. Good luck with the situation with your Dad and your Mom's ashes. Annie