He doesn't blame me anymore and has shown nothing but remorse for that, I'm just scared of those patterns of thought and behavior coming back again. I can't go through that again. At first I thought I deserved it but I know better now. I don't know... I told myself if he ever hit me, called me a slut or a *****, etc I would leave and I don't know if I should have left then. I guess I'm staying for now since he's sober and on his way to therapy but I hope I'm doing the right thing.