Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know what exactly an internist is, but I don't have a family physician. I haven't been to a doctor in about 10 years. I have no medical insurance and I barely make enough money to cover my monthly bills. That's why I made the comment that I can't afford professional/medical help.

I know that the alcohol isn't the answer and it isn't going to solve anything. It's gotten me into trouble in the past, but right now it's the only thing I have that makes it so that I don't just sit in my apartment and think about how much I hate my life.

I have been trying to make diet changes, and I started taking a daily multi-vitamin. Since I haven't been hungry enough to want to eat big meals I went to the store and picked up a bunch of fruits and vegetables because I figured they'd be better to have around when I was hungry just to have something to snack on not go straight for junk food. But I find it hard to even eat an entire piece of fruit. I ate half a banana today and felt like if I ate anymore than that I would be physically ill.

I feel like if I could get over my irrational fear of going out and meeting people it would go a long way towards helping me. I think that the main thing that kickstarted all of my feelings into this downward trend was realizing over the course of the holidays and my recent birthday that I really don't have anyone in my life. I have "friends" in various online communities (mostly from playing online games, and 1 or 2 from other social websites). But having online friends that live hundreds or thousands of miles away just doesn't help much when what you need is actual interaction with another person.