Did he support you? It appears he has led you down a blind alley. Gifts & words written on boards pppfftt. Where was he when he was really needed? Sounds like an abusive relationship where a wife is told what to feel about the abusive spouse led to belief it was her fault that she got abused.

The guy is a disgrace to the therapeutic profession. His let you down majorly. But you can't see that because you have no clue what a healthy therapeutic relationship looks like. Not your fault.

I'm not enabling this awful situation.