Hi. We have similar backgrounds. My mother was also a bully and I was encouraged by all family members to take care of her, especially after my father and one of my brothers died.

I think others sense your discomfort around them. We all carry our past with us to some extent. It's written into our body language, facial expressions and maybe even into our clothes. I have had the same problems as with regarding fitting in. I guess I am just too serious.

So, here's a suggested start: 1. improve your body language by sitting up straight and smiling; 2. dress like an extrovert - think upbeat - looking cool will attract people to you; 3. don't put pressure on yourself to say anything. When I went to college, young people often did not like others who got good grades and, I bet you do have good grades. In our strange culture, this is a turn off for many. I have come to the conclusion that it's better to hang with the "so-called" nerds who get good grades. Seriously. They know what college is truly all about. Another option is to hang with others who have the same major as you because they probably speak your language. All the best to you!