Hi everyone,
I am very sorry, but there is no short version of this. So I apologize in advance for the long post.

I'm not sure where to begin. Well, my marriage (of 26 years) is really in a shambles. My husband is self employed and has been out of control financially for years. I basically shut my eyes and stay out of his business management, because it has been a huge point of contention for us and he will not listen to me anyway. Consequently, we are in a huge amount of debt that I cannot see ever getting out of. I have blindly signed anything he wanted me to sign - so it's my debt too.

I have always worked as an accountant and use my earnings to pay for our living expenses; we cannot depend on my husband providing any funds for living expenses.

Well, my tdoc and pdoc both have been telling me for several years to remove my husband's name from my checking account (and visa versa). We have 2 joint checking accounts - one for his business and one for living expenses. Numerous times, my husband has transferred funds out of "my" account to his without my knowledge. He continually operates with an overdrawn checking account (and I cannot handle this).

Now tdoc is really pressuring me to get this done. This past month or so has been very bad for my entire family due to my husband's irresponsible spending. It impacts all of us (including our two sons ages 18 and 20). Really I think we all four have been or are suicidal - it's very depressing.

Anyway, tdoc is giving me an ultimatum. I think he feels that ethically he cannot continue to work with me if I refuse to make any changes. He told me on Wednesday that he wants me to send an email to the bank (because I refuse to go in or call them) and ask how I can get my husband's name removed from my checking account. I just cannot do this. I cannot go against my husband, no matter what he has done to me indirectly due to his irresponsible spending. I think that if I do not send the email, tdoc will tell me there is nothing more he can do for me. This prospect terrifes me as I have come to depend on my weekly sessions - basically has kept me alive for 3-4 years.

We (my husband, me, 2 sons) are all spiralling in this depression and things are not good.

I don't know how all of you can help with this. It just seems like an impossible situation to me, and I want to give up totally.

Thanks for listening.
Kara