For the first time in 2 years, I hurt myself today. My case worker has dropped the ball where I'm concerned a few times. I called and left a message yesterday, no return call. Then I found out she was gone when I called back today. So I spoke with the woman who had my case while she was away. When I told her what was wrong, I was in a lot of pain and sobbing. She said, calm down and don't get upset, in a way that sounded like I didn't have any reason to get upset. You know, the old, chill out, there's no problem and you're overreacting. Then I called my counselor but I needed to leave a message. I got thrown into a kind of flashback and I couldn't calm down. All I could think to do was hurt myself and rock back and forth. It seems surreal now. I'm still in a pretty down place. Part of me feels disappointed in myself.