I don't think it has to be considered rape for it to feel traumatic. I think therapy would help you learn ti say no and not let people do things to you that you don't want. You get to decide what happens to your body and no one else has the right to violate that. Not even if they are drunk or whatever. I urge you to seek counsling to deal with your past abuse. I think your freezing up and not being able to say no stems from that. You go to another place when these things happen because you dont feel like you can stop what is happening.