I'm sorry that you did not get that growing up, Rainbow.

I identify with that. There was no one to talk to when I was growing up and more importantly, no one to support me or even just stand next to me while I said, "hey, this hurts!"

I do think, though, that you can cultivate the ability to talk about many of these things with friends and/or your H. I find that my H can provide some kinds of support, but that my girlfriends can offer in many cases much more. There's a really interesting book by a journalist called the Secret Lives of Wives about long term marriages (15+ years, IIRC) and it's not at all as juicy as the title would imply It is about the ways that long term marriages tend to work, at that is where the wife does not look to her marriage to satisfy all her needs, and has friendship or other outside interests that do not involve her spouse.