hey. I hope I can help a little. I think very few of those occurrence are considered rape. Abuse maybe, traumatic absolutely.

There is one time that stuck out that was certainly rape. You acknowledged it as a rape as well and your assessment was correct in my opinion.

What happened between your current partner. The first time was rape. The other time when you said stop and he didn't for 30 sec or so. That might be. You said stop, he didn't, so that makes it rape. But I assume it must be quire difficult to just halt what you are doing. And depending on the verbalizations that were taking place at the time, because things can get heated, it may have been unclear to him but maybe not. If you guys are a little rough then you need to discuss a safe word. Pick a word that he and you agree on. One nothing related to sex. When you say that word he stops. Write it on your hand if you must so you don't panic about forgetting it.

I'm glad you have a T. I was raped and have not been able to say the words as of yet. But I can write them. I have taken things I typed here and printed them out and taken it to the T. I also journal and share it w/ my T. So she can see what is going on w/ me otherwise she'd never know there is anything wrong cause I sure don't talk about it. There has been no pressure to prosecute this individual. There has been no talk of confronting this guy. That made me feel safer. To know I am not going to feel pressured to go there. I hope you can share this w/ your T. Good luck.