I use passive methods a lot too. The pain is the same. I'm really sorry that you feel like you have to do this to yourself, but like you said, I can't stop you. And I do understand it. You just don't deserve to hurt and to be punished though. It would be better if people who have been hurt could stop being hurt.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>