Thanks for the replies....I wrote out a reply on here this morning, but apparently it didn't post

Oh well, Let's see if I can remember anything that I wrote...

I have no idea what an internist is, but I don't have a family physician. I haven't been to a doctor in about 10 years and that was just to get my finger sewn up after hurting myself at work. I have no insurance and I barely make enough money to cover my monthly bills. That was why I said I didn't have the money to get any professional/medical help.

I know that alcohol isn't the answer, and it isn't going to fix anything. It's gotten me into trouble in the past. But right now it's the only thing that I have that makes it so that I don't just sit in my apartment all day and think about how much I hate my life.

I have been attempting to change my "diet" and have started taking vitamins for the past few weeks. When I started not being hungry or wanting to eat big meals I started buying a lot more fruits and vegetables so that when I did get hungry I could grab something like that instead of just going straight for the junk food. But even then, I have a hard time eating an entire piece of fruit most of the time. I tried to eat a banana earlier today, ate about half of it and felt like if I took another bite I would be physically sick.

I feel like all of this started for me last fall, and has just gotten progressively worse through the holidays and my recent birthday that just passed. Things like that really make you realize how many friends you have (or don't have as the case may be). I spent my birthday sitting in my apartment, alone, and went to bed at around 6pm. I feel like if I could get over my irrational fear of going out and meeting people I would be a lot better off, I've just never been the kind of person that can walk up to a stranger and generate a conversation out of nothing.

I have several "friends" in different online communities. Mostly from playing online games or a few from other social websites. But having "friends" that live hundreds or thousands of miles away just isn't the same as having someone nearby that you can call up and go hang out with.