Yon bring up lots to think about. I agree that my mother's behavior isn't based off me being "unworthy" and I get the "not knowing how". However, I feel that she also had plenty of opportunities to learn (therapy, talks, my dad's intervention) and doesn't care to. Therefore, I feel justified for cutting her out of my life for now. I need to protect myself from her and figure my own stuff out.

You're right about the observing other people to see that I'm not alone. When the guy I wasn't talking to quit talking to me, he told me that he was upset about a break up from a four year relationship, her contacting him, and his anxiety issues. Though I still feel inadequate for not being able to get people to like me and hopeless about anyone liking me if the only boy I've liked in a while backed out due to instability and fear, I find solstice in knowing that it wasn't me (unless he lied) and he isn't a malicious person. My biggest competitor in college is always one upping me and telling me to talk about happy things. I have nothing but warmth for her because I see her putting up this front and I feel sad that she feels like she has to do that.

You're right, if I look for signs in people that they are uncomfortable too, I might not feel so outcasted. I guess that I'll learn to cope with the loneliness until things change. Life isn't all about happiness. I'll be okay.