Since I don't have T anymore, I've been kind of forced to reach out in real life and find out what kind of support is there. I am not someone who is open with my friends and H about when I am hurting, but this was bad enough that I didn't really have a choice.

And I found out that a lot of what I needed T for really does exist for me here in real life. I've found it on PC, in private messages, with other bloggers, with my girlfriends, and even with my H. I *do* need to talk through a lot of things, like you, and I didn't have anyone to listen growing up, like you, and I didn't think it was anything that I could ever get outside of therapy. But I CAN. I just had to get to a point where I was forced to take a risk.

Relationships in real life are two way streets (unlike therapy) and I am there for my friends too, of course. Up until now, I've been the person who was more there for them than the other way around. It took a big leap of faith and a lot of desperation to find out that they could give me what I needed - but they have. And more.

So, I think all of that is to say that the things that you *think* you can only get from T might be things that really DO exist for you out here in the world.