I think its very valid to be believed and also heard - and I do think he believes you. He said of his friend that he was irritated by his friends disbelief. He might have been clumsy and not thinking how that comment would make you feel. Are there many things that make you question his behaviour?

And I think that his being quiet when you tell him things that have happened to you is a fairly normal reaction for most. Not many people know what to say, and it can make them mute. I had it over a couple of things, concerning my brother and I in the past when things went very wrong for us, and my fella lost his sister many years ago to cancer, and some of their so-called friends and neighbours would cross the street to avoid them, rather than just express their sympathy. Although the actions are hurtful, I do not think that for most people, its meant to be, its just ignorance/fear and not really knowing how to act. It also sounds like your b/f has gone though a few things himself, and if he's from a family that never spoke about anything, then this can all seem really difficult for him.

Have you ever tried talking to him about things? Say something along the lines of "its okay to ask questions, I'll be happy to answer them the best I can", or tell him gently that his lack of empathy is hurtful, and making you feel uncomfortable, but try and not do it after you've shared something if emotions are running high. Try and encourage him to engage with you? I think its worth a try, and as with all relationships, its good communication from both people that's the key to a steady, healthy and loving relationship. Neither of you are mind-readers after all and he may just need a nudge in the right direction.

Best of luck, and hugs to you. I hope you get the happiness you so deserve.