I did start the process with a new therapist..so I guess that is one step. I just feel at a loss when it comes to breaking any of the behaviors. It's been with me for so many years that I am just paralyzed with fear at the thought of gaining weight (which I know will happen because I am maintaining a weight that is not normal for me through eating disorder behaviors). If only we could just choose to walk away from it, without fear. I do want a better life, it just feels so remote and almost impossible at this point.