Life "can" have happiness though, but you have to learn how to achieve that. I have a feeling you are looking outside, and need to also look inwards too. Inwards looking should not be "negetive" though.

Your mother? Well, sometimes even with therapy, and talks don't help that much. A lot depends on how her "core" is hurt or damaged somehow. If she never loved "herself" then she won't know how to, or feel worthy enough to "love others". Without knowing her myself, I can't really pin point her "fault line" so to speak.

You are a new member here, but if you spent enough time "observing" you will begin to see others that speak of some of the challenge you have yourself. If you read the "relationship" forum, you will see "similar" challenges that people have with "relationships", in that you will begin to recognize that your challenges are also shared by others more than you realized.

Your age group is very challenged. There are many that are depressed and lost and honestly don't know what to do to help themselves. I noticed this with my daughter's age group too. My daughter is turning 29. The parents of this generation were often very "self absorbed" and more than ever had some building need to focus on things/posessions and "work". More than ever, the divorce rate was high and parents were more about themselves and many children were somewhat deserted.

In the 90's there was an increase in families that wanted the bigger homes, the better cars and an increasing sense of entitlement and bigger egos. This seemed to be an easier time for climbing the corporate ladder and people did make good money too. I spent alot of time working around these families and often the children had lots of things but there was also alot of competition. I am not sure where you are from, the States or not, but what "I" noticed is that there were an awful lot of divorces and cheating. I remember finding out that one town where the more successful "yupies" wanted to live, and they did have some really nice homes, the divorce rate was very high and the time line was, once moving into that town, 3 years, then divorce.

In the neighborhood I lived in during the beginning of the 90's, there were several divorces and marriage problems. And in my very small developement a young boy that was only 14 hung himself. I had remembered inviting his mother over one time, I threw a chrystal party for a friend, and I remember her saying that she couldn't wait for her kids to grow up and get out so she could have more time to herself and do what "she" wanted. She made it clear that it was an inconvience to have children and wished she didn't. The woman behind me had twin girls and that mother either commited suicide or he killed her, they never knew. He ended up in some kind of mental facility, and the children went to the grandparents to be raised. The couple next to me also got divorced. It was a time when everything was "throw away", including marriages.

I saw alot of sad things and children that ended up in "broken" homes. My daughter had very few friends whose parents were still together when she graduated high school. It was as if "children" were just something to have, something that comes "next" and no real knowledge of what the comitment of having a child meant.

I understand that you have been somewhat on your own, but honestly, you are not the only one with that kind of challenge and some deep "core" hurts. And your generation is more confused than ever about relationships because many never saw a real working relationship in their parents. And relationship breakups are very troubling for your piers because they tend to feel it very deep because there often was no "safety net" for them in their own parents. So love in a relationship is felt alot deeper and as this boy has expressed, brings on instability and fear when something goes wrong. I often find young men struggling more than young women because alot of "fathers" were just not there for them and often mom was so hurt and lost or finding herself, that she wasn't there either.

Getting others to "like" you isn't as easy these days for your age group, there is a whole lot of concern about "trust" and lots of defense mechanisms going on.