Most banks will take action in person with both of you there. It's a liability thing for them so they can make sure no one is stealing any money from the other. Though you can take your own name off of an account without him being there. You may be betterfoff just opening another account in your own name.
I think a second step would be to make sure your husband cannot threaten you into transferring more money. From an outside standpoint, I would suggest offering to call emergency services for him if the money situation is so bad that be feels the need to kill himself over it. I know how difficult this can be to even think about, but having him do the same thing again would negate having a separate account. It also is emotional abuse. You need to take care of yourself and your kids and your husband... (hugs) neons of this sounds remotely easy.