This weekend could be particularly tough for me, as someone is mad at me and they are going to do their best to make me miserable. God, how I love my family. The question is why?

I guess I know that as mean as they are being, I have been that way in the past. I wish everyone to have a good pleasent weekend, but while you are enjoying yours, say a prayer for me to be able to withstand the verbal abuse and stupidity.

I really need divine help to get through this one.

And maybe some chocolate would be good too. SIGH

If I won the lottery, then I could afford to tell this person to piss off. And I would. I would hire an attorney who could get what should be mine and I would be able to take care of my felt needs, like shelter, food, transport, etc. and wouldn't need this person in my life anymore.
I would still love them, but if I suddenly had an ample supply of money, I would no have to put up with their abuse and screwed up perspective.

But i didn't win the lottery. i am still living 300% below the poverty level and I still need some things from this abusive person. They love to hold it over my head that I am not able to care for myself. They enjoy rubbing my nose in it and attacking the little bit of self esteem I have. I have much more self loathing than esteem, but even a little self esteem is too much, I guess. I have to feel horrible all thet ime or this person is not happy.

Why are people so cruel?

Man this is gonna be tough.

Some parts of me hope I survive it. Some don't. Please pray for me.