I think she was saying that things won't change unless you address it granite.

Getting use to hearing words that describe our parents or the treatment we received as children, when they are negative, is very hard for us to hear. My way of hearing this stuff would be to not respond to what T was saying. I'd look away or sometimes even at her (very unusual as I hardly even look at her when we talk about anything). SO she would repeat what she was saying until I responded in some way... anyway.... a blink, a sigh, a slight movement in my chair. I hated it when she would use the word neglected, or abused to describe my childhood. T just wanted me to hear the words and accept that this was the way I was being treated as a child. I know there were times when I didn't hear words she was saying because I couldn't admit to myself that what she was saying related to me. But the truth is that what T says to me is only said to help me accept and move on to the truth. She wants me to accept it, acknowledge it and move through it so we can get to healing it. As hard as it is to hear negative terms for our parents (unless, of course, it is coming from our mouths) it is necessary that we hear and acknowledge what our parents did on that kind of outwardly verbal, coming from another witness, level.