Holding you -in the sense of keeping you- in the discomfort sounds similar to something I had a problem with my last t about. I don't remember the exact details but I remember telling him that it seemed like he was TRYING to make me angry. I think he had actually said something the session before almost like that- he wanted to see me upset or something. When I said at the next session that it seemed like he was trying to make me angry, I remember his response was, you don't want that? I said no and later wondered why in the universe you would need to ASK someone if they wanted that. It doesn't seem to me like therapists should be intentionally trying to hurt clients, no matter what beliefs they may have about how it might help in the future. They don't and probably can't know well enough whether their theory will work to make it acceptable to knowingly do something hurtful to the client.

The thing I struggle about is, how would I think a therapist should deal with someone who is doing something we would all find unacceptable or repugnant, maybe cheating on their spouse or emotionally abusing another adult. (Nothing that rises to the level that the t should report it to anyone, just something unethical that the client is doing.) I suppose it would be hard for the therapist not to dislike the client a lot of the time. I remember an episode of that TV show about therapy where there is a nasty couple always acting horribly toward each other in therapy. I think the therapist is supposed to find something to like about the client, but they might be pretty disgusted with the client for the most part, right? What does it mean to be non-judgmental yet genuine with a client like this? Is it more okay for the therapist to say things that are hurtful to a client like this because the hurtful criticisms are genuine?
And if so, how can any of us know whether intentionally hurtful things a therapist does are legitimate, or whether the therapist has some insight that we don't have?