I know this is a difficult situation on all sides, but I think I can understand a lot of your husband's feelings in this situation. As others have said, it doesn't sound as though it's REALLY about the money. It's about the fact that he does not see any improvement in the way you behave towards him/your relationship/ways that impact his life. All he sees is that his wife spends more of her time and more of her emotional energy with T/thinking about T/ posting about T than she does on him and on her family. He's your H and he wants the same kind of emotional investment put into him that you put into T. And, when you think about, isn't that a reasonable request? He's the one who is there every day, he's the one changing the light bulbs, mowing the lawn, balancing the checkbook, buying you birthday gifts, worrying about your health, double-checking your insurance forms, etc. He invests a lot into your well-being, and he simply wants to feel loved and appreciated. From his perspective, he's wondering why you're more emotionally invested in a T (who does not do all of these things for you, who has not shared all of life's moments like births, weddings, graduations, etc with you, who is not "in love" with you)-- than you are in him. If he's an old-fashioned guy in his 60s, he's probably not going to put this into elegant, heart-felt language, cry about feeling like he has "lost" you, or say that he or say that he feels inadequate because you'd rather be with your T than with him. But I would bet money that he does feel that way. One's spouse wants to feel that they are the most important person in your world, the only person you are "in love" with, and they want to be the one who makes you smile, the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, and the person who understands you the best in the whole world. It's incredibly painful to be married to someone and to know that they are thinking more about someone else than they are about you. It's probably much more confusing when the person your spouse is thinking about is their T! And, if your husband is thinking that therapy should help you improve your marriage-- and, instead, therapy is making it worse because it's causing you to take your attention away from your H and put it on your T-- then it makes sense that he's saying therapy is not helping. Therapy may be helping your issues around shame/body, but it is not helping your relationships. So, that's when you have to weigh what is important to you. To be honest, given that you have been in therapy 18 years, the idea that "once you deal with the baby and teenager stuff you will be done with therapy"-- is probably not the case. Even if therapy is helping with shame/body stuff/anatomy words, it does not seem as though those are the "biggest" issues or the real reason you are in T. You enjoy T because of the attention she gives you and the high you get from the "in love" feelings you have around her. I think your H realizes that and is frustrated because he knows that your therapy will continue to be about using T to satisfy those desires and not about improving the way you interact in your relationships. It must be frustrating for him to see you spend so much time fretting about an e-mail from T, instead of simply being "in the moment" with him, especially at times like the birth of your granddaughter. I realize that you were there-- you were doing laundry, cooking, doing childcare-- but, as your posts indicate, you were not "emotionally there" for some of that time because you were thinking about your T and her lack of an e-mail response. The people around you can sense when you are distracted, when your thoughts are wandering, etc. They FEEL it and it doesn't FEEL good. It hurts. In my experience, nothing hurts more than being with the person you love and feeling like they're a thousand miles away, thinking about something else. I think that is what your H is reacting to. He's talking about the money because it's tangible and it doesn't hurt his pride to talk about money. It's also logical. That's what men in their 60s talk about; they talk about money and they look for logical reasons. It's much more threatening to say that they are hurt or they are jealous, especially if the way they feel is that their wife is more in love with her female T than she is with them. I realize that your H is not "perfect" in this situation, either. There are things he could do to show you more love and affection, too, but it does seem that he is at least a little more plugged in to you and your family life. He may not know how to show you all the love and affection you want (in which case, you can help teach him!), but at least he isn't showing that love and affection to someone else. It sounds like, deep down, he really wants to be shown a little bit more attention. After all, he doesn't have a T. So who is showing him attention? Try to think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. If your H were seeing a female T, and your H obsessed about e-mails from her, had "in love" feelings for her, and posted daily online about his sessions/thoughts/feelings for her, how would that make you feel? Would you support his therapy? Would you think it was helping him and your relationship with him? Would you be jealous? Would you support him in his therapy?