Oh Wow Guys, thanks for all the encouragement and responses. I wish I would have gotten on here and looked sooner. I really didn't expect anyone to remember me enough to want to write back to me so this was a nice surprise!

I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday for a follow up on my last surgery and to assess the arms and talk about how to treat them. It was so hard to talk about. I almost cried. It was the whole biting my lip to focus on that pain and trying to prevent the tears. It was/is just really vulnerable.

He did ask me if I was going to do it again and I replied with this; "I knew you were going to ask me that Dr. H and I would love to tell you no Dr. H I will never do this again but I can't. Here is what I can tell you, The fact that I have had so many times of slipping into 'not reality' (a term that is easier than psychosis) my psychiatrisst says the probability of that happening again is not just very high it is more accurately a given. I can tell you that I have had a lot of therapy and skill building classes and the hope is that when that comes around again I will be equipped with skills I need and I will ask for help. I also comply with a hefty coctail of medications and the pharmacy even puts them in bubble packs so I remember to take them. He said that was the best answer I could give him because it showed that I put some thought into giving him an honest reply.

He really does like me an awful lot. He gave me a hug when he first came in the rooms and said,"There's my favorite patient."

Ok so about the surgical stuff. He said that we had options and they were to either cut a big chunk of my skin out and then sew the surrounding tissue back together to not make it look like distinct cutting scars. He would have to repeat this two times on each spot that he did. The second option would be to do a skin graft by harvesting tissue from my public area like where they do c section scars and after cutting out the skin on my arms attaching the skin grafts there. The first option he could just do with mild sedation and local anesthetic and it could be done in a procedure room where they do minor surgeries. The other he would have to use twighligt sedation and we would have to go back to the OR.

Right now the plan is that we will start with the cutting out the scars and make new ones. If that doesn't go well or he doesn't think it is going to work very well, we will proceed to skin grafting. I am going in next Tuesday and I will be getting some sedation first to take the edge off. I will keep you posted. Thank you to everyone that supported me with replies, thanks, and hugs. I will let you know how it goes.