Quote:
Originally Posted by sackgasse
I just started therapy for the first time a few weeks ago. I actually went because I've been fighting some painfully empty/low feeling that leaves me unable to move for periods of time. That and my already short fuse and bad temper have hit record highs.
Thing is, every time I get there, nothing will come out..so I feel stupid on top of everything. I did manage the first day to kind of say what I wrote above but I feel like he's probably sitting there wondering why I'm even there because I can't say anything beyond that. I just freeze up.
He's asked me to write thoughts/feelings down for Monday's session, but I don't understand what he wants and I don't want to bother him with an email asking "huh?" when it's a plain and simple request (or should be). I sit to try to write some things out and it's mass confusion in my head and I end up just getting extremely pissed off and have to walk away.
Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions?
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I barely talked for 9 months. I cried a lot though.
We have had many discussions on how frustrating it is to want to talk but not be able to talk. We talk about the fears associated with talking (revealing myself, looking or sounding stupid or disgusting, having nothing 'important' to talk about, etc). Each of these discussions helps because we are talking and we are building trust. Trust is a key component of feeling free to talk. It takes time to build trust. It takes as long as it takes, and there is no rush. If you are feeling rushed or pressured, that is something to talk about too.
So, perhaps you can write about how frustrating it is to not be able to find the words; to want to talk and to talk freely, but feeling held back in some way; about the fears that can be hard to think about - the therapist's judgement, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, feeling desperate, feeling alone, feeling hopeless.
Whatever you are feeling when you pick up the pen or pencil to write, just let if flow
