Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopin99
CE, you know I love you and would never seek out to hurt you. I hope you don't mind my asking and I don't know if anyone else has asked you or I missed a thread while I was away. Why do you think your T is out to get you? I do empathize and understand the feeling. I've felt that way about my own T before. Have you considered that it might not be true? Every time I've felt that way, I've been proven wrong. Even when I think she is just engaging in a power struggle, it has consistently turned out to be for my benefit.
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Thank you for your gentle response!
My wife has a job helping school teachers to see the error of their ways. (OK, I'm being facetious, but that's a big part of it.) She told me that she had been trained to "hold them in the moment of discomfort", not letting them change the subject, not soothing them, just coming back to the issue until they burst into tears or lash out in anger. That, she was told, is the moment when they are ready to accept change. And even afterwards, she was not to soothe them.
Now this is very much how my T is treating me at the moment. Being on the receiving end, let me tell you it is VILE. My T is deliberately hurting me, deliberately prolonging the agony.
I used to think the pain of therapy was an accident. My T was just clumsy. Sometimes I had a suspicion that it was deliberate, but I decided I was just being paranoid. Because I
can get paranoid.
Alas now I know the truth. She deliberately hurts me in order to get me used to the "bad" feelings.
I saw someone post that her parents thought she was too soft, and in order to "toughen her up", they made her stand naked in the yard. That (metaphorically) is what my T is doing to me. It is TORTURE. It is ABUSE.