Ok, I have a few answers, but they're from what I've read, watched and heard over many years, not from personal experience. I don't consider myself "into" BDSM, but you might think I am, since I can get into a little spanking and bondage, some mild playing. But I'm not into pain...it's about being "conquered." This is something I have read in many romance novels (especially those back in the 80's and earlier), so romance novels are my "porn." I like erotica, but I seem to get more aroused by historical and other types of romance novels that don't use modern terms and directness.

Anyway, back to BDSM (sorry for wandering off)...from what I've gathered, different people like different things. One person might like to be called names, whipped, beaten, the whole shbang. Others might prefer something like 50 Shades of Grey, since I think that's where a lot of women first "discovered" BDSM, but in truth, that book was not very realistic, according to many in the BDSM "scene". (I hated the book, not for the content, but for the atrocious writing.)

May I recommend a book? Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns - http://www.amazon.com/Screw-Roses-Se...dp/0964596008/. I think you'll find some good information in it.