..it's so obvious that someone like me needs help..

I guess everyone does yep...

the gift of mental illness ...especially bipolar?

is some extraordinary resilience and some super-ordinary shame

...the panic attacks make sense they make some kind of weird sense they cripple me.

but they only injure me less than I already expect to be!

it's not pain anymore it's not pain!

it's shame

I have tried to turn my shame into pain manifest my emotions physically into something immediately responsive...

I have wasted blood that flowed through me to survive me
I have tasted blood that knowed me to alive me

..it's not over yet

it's tricky...

it's a beautiful thing

to trust the illness

to love yourself