Hi AndreC, I can remember thinking I didn't want to get sober for fear of reality. For me, it was the best thing I every did, and it wasn't until I was crying uncontrollably all the time that I quit. I did go to a outpatient center and did get help with my thinking. The truth is there are a lot of fears about getting sober, but most of these were all in my mind. And a lot of depression talking. It took me many years to get sick of feeling horrible until I stopped my addictions. It gets better, if you stop.