The way I look at this is this: If you take a tree sapling and make a one inch cut in it, it stops to grow in that place while the rest of the tree can go on to grow and become healthy. Whats missing is all that tree could have been, a lessening of the shade it could provide, a loss of its mini eco system. People are not trees. We can grow in places we've been hurt but we need to recognize that place, do honor to it and ourselves, and lovingly nurture our self back to wholeness, restoring our own mini eco system and bringing ourselves and our own small world back into health.