This sure brings back memories. It's always possible to find someone that had a more horrible experience and some people don't survive the experience. All SA is traumatic and damaging. You don't need to feel guilty about the word choice. I never did press charges on anyone, but I'm don't think that's what you're talking about anyway. I hope you can begin to feel better about yourself and not feel like you're to blame some way. Maybe someday you will meet someone that respects you better.