My answers:

1. No, not any more than anybody else. We all post hoping to find kinship and support in what we tell. I would limit "selfishness" to those posts that threaten self harming behavior or try to induce guilt in people by crying about how they aren't getting the responses that they want. That, and the people who PM other people to make nasty comments.

I haven't seen any posts from you lately except your most recent one. I remember a long thread weeks ago where you posted about what you perceived were numerous mistakes and negative behavior by your T, and my recollection is that there was a lot of time spent by you and others analyzing and blaming your T for her supposed issues and not a lot of effort around focusing on yourself. So my perspective would be that it is good to take a critical look at yourself, and that the feedback you may be getting here is a reasonable time to delve into that.

2. I don't see any changes, but I may not be looking at the right threads to see this. If you are talking about couch related stuff, I don't participate there although I sometimes read some of it, but am usually lost to some extent. I can't recall ever seeing personal disagreements appear there, but maybe something just blew up and it might be best to let it blow over rather than trying to deconstruct and intellectualize it. I had something that may have been like this appear in one of my RL support networks, someone "quit" and then there was all this gossip and then people started acting like there were "sides" and you could be friends with X or the group, or the group but not X. I just ignored it and continued to be friends with X and hang out with the group, and eventually it has worked itself out.

So I guess I would say that maybe the feedback you've been given is useful to consider, but maybe you are making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Like, for example, sometimes people take just one post in the wrong way and then it blows back and the other person overreacts. Maybe one thing to consider is whether you can drop this quest for information and just go back to participating in whatever way you feel comfortable.

3. You have not offended me. I know that you didn't agree with some of what I have written to you in some past threads (some we might have agreed), but I haven't felt that you have ever been offensive at the lack of agreement. I feel you are willing to listen to others even if you don't agree, and you don't seem to get bent out of shape about stuff in general. So I am puzzled about what's going on now. Perhaps it is just a simple misunderstanding that went nuclear.

Just because you asked for honesty, I do want to quote the decontextualized bits I quoted above and tell you how I feel about them.

I feel that you are trying to make yourself to be a victim by someone else or someone elses-- by referring to the "popular belief" that you are bad, I think you're trying to manipulate me into feeling sorry that you've been wronged. I don't really appreciate that. It also feels a little like this is a post REALLY to whomever you have had this disagreement with, and all this request for feedback is really a sideshow.

And the other quotes, essentially they sum up for me that you are withdrawing for the sake of others, unselfishly, almost like you are trying to prove that you are not selfish by taking yourself out of the forum or forums.

But these negative things I just said, I think they are limited to this particular post and that really isn't how you are all the time. I think you've been unnerved by whatever has happened and that you honestly are seeking to figure out what has happened and maybe you want support from others around it. I'm sorry, it sounds like it has been really difficult for you, but I would encourage you to just face down whatever is going on-- apologize for your part and try to do better. I think most people here are pretty forgiving and I think there is much to be learned here and ways for you to benefit if you can tolerate the discomfort and move forward. FWIW, I think you contribute a lot to the forum here and I have missed your postings and I would like to see you continue on, but you should do what's best for you.