I know where you are coming from with your bf. You have to remember that he isn't a doctor and he may not know how to help you. It sounds like he is dealing with a lot on his own, and being his crisis manager is putting a burden on yourself.

From my experience cutting (or Self harm) is a form of coping. It made all the emotional stuff (depression) I was going thru feel less overwhelming. I had to learn how to challenge the internal feelings and how I perceived events that made me want to hurt myself.

For example, I had (sometimes I still do) really low self esteem. there are times when I would get rejectedd or have some failing that made me want to hurt myself. I had to look at these experience and evaluate how I reacted to them. I would get for angry for failing and then I would direct that toward myself and obsess of negative thoughts about myself and eventual hurt myself. Afterwards I would feel less down and I guess more numb than anything. What I have to do is look at when I fail or other triggers for me. I had to learn to accept I won't be perfect at everything and sometimes people won't like me, but that doesn't mean I am worthless. If I fail at one thing, it doesn't mean I am a complete failure and without any value. It just means that I made a mistake and I can learn from that mistake and not make it again. Hurting myself because I fail isn't a positive way to handle the situation.

I think a good therapist will understand the need for self injury from some people. I think a good one will teach you how to cope with life and find more positive ways to handle the triggers or events that make you want to hurt yourself. Remember it is up to you what you talk to your therapist about. You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to or are not ready to talk about.