I don't think you've deceived yourself CE. I think you're realizing a need that perhaps you didn't know you had.

The need to be supported and, well, loved.

I think about your situation fairly frequently, and I have to wonder if your therapist, and perhaps even these boards, would have responded differently if you had been female. Would the power struggle aspect have even come up? I don't know.

It much more the cultural norm for women to ask for support, and *get* it, than it is for men.

But, good lord, it's a basic *human* need.

Everyone, at times, gets to feel like that child that pulled the cookie jar off on them. We have a right to empathy and support and love.

I wish you the best CE, I really really do. I wish you a lot of peace.