This shame that attaches to sexual response arising from abuse is pernicious. It's soul killing and so very difficult to come to terms with.

And that it is so often used by abusers as "proof" that what they're doing isn't harmful, indoctrinates children to blame and hate themselves.

And it contaminates all further sexual development: feelings and behaviors that are perfectly normal can become inextricably tied to the shame of the abuse.

I wish I had the words that would take that burden away from anyone who struggles with it. I got past it, but I can't really define how. A certain amount of education from my T helped; a lot of time, tears, and gut-wrenching "confessions"; and, mostly, the unwavering respect and acceptance of me by my T. Who I was reflected in his eyes was not who I felt myself to be. Over time, that made all the difference.