There were a few times I went off my meds cold turkey thinking 2 things:
1. i wasn't really bipolar and therefore didn't need them and
2. The meds were harming my body.
I was in a manic state during these times which is often when people go off their meds. The repercussions of this deluded choice was disastrous. Not only did i crash into severe depressive and mixed episodes, but went into physical withdrawal symptoms which is horrible. After those experiments, i learned my lesson and realized i definitely had bipolar and needed the meds.

3 yrs. ago i abruptly went off my meds because my pdoc died suddenly before i could get refills. I was unable to get a new doc and meds--- as a result, I ended up flying into a severe mania where i didn't sleep for 5 days straight , became paranoid and psychotic, then ended up severely physically sick from the withdrawal symptoms. (i'm talking puking, weakness, fainting spells etc) Ended up getting hospitalized for that mania.

Just recently, this fall, i was dropped from a clinic for missing some appts. As a result, my meds ran out and i crashed into a horrific suicidal depression that lasted 5 months. (this time, going off my meds, was not by choice). I've had depressed episodes while on meds, but without meds... the severity and length of the depression is 10000 times worse imo. After the first few months i ended up attempting suicide for the first time. Was hospitalized and treated. Released prematurely....I did go back on meds (different meds) and none worked so i ended up slipping back into another severe suicidal depression. Ended up going into another better hospital and finally was stabilized on medication that worked. I'm still bipolar....there is no cure....i'm not like everyone else, but despite the side effects, i'm glad i'm alive and stable.

My question to you is: What was your state of mind before being hospitalized? And did the meds stabilize you? Also, when you say: "government control" , Poison" etc... do you really believe there is a gov. conspiracy where "they" (whoever they is) are purposely wanting you to go on meds in order to make you like everyone else? Is this delusional thinking...that is, is this the illness talking or was it a figure of speech?

From my experience, i would advise you to NOT go off meds if they are working. If you are experiencing bad side effects or feel they aren't stabilizing you, then work with your pdoc to find the meds that do work for you. OUr brain illness does not make us who we are...it's a part of our lives yes, but it's also what makes us unstable and not see ourselves and the world clearly. If the meds help us to be more stable...that is, balance the imbalanced chemicals of this mood disorder, then they are an aid to help us be who we really are. Please think twice before going off meds cold turkey...at least talk to your Dr. or therapist about why you want to do this.