Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
Hi Tilly May ~ My ex used to do that to me too.  I couldn't get just a hug. I had to get groped all the time -- and if I said something about it, it made him MAD.
All I wanted was just a hug, not to be groped/fondled all the time. He'd do that when I was cooking/cleaning/you name it! It drove me nuts! I didn't see that as "affection." Especially since the rest of the time, he was emotionally abusive.
I just told him I didn't want to be groped, I'd rather have hugs. Whatever he did with that information was his business. (he got mad and didn't touch me after that) LOL |
I was in the same situation. I told him about it. I told him that I wanted him to touch me without groping me. Touch my legs, touch my arms, be able to give me a backrub without his hands moving down or around to my breasts. He couldn't do it. After a while I habitually started to block his hands whenever he went to touch me because I knew what he was going to do. Then he too would get mad.
It was never touching in a way that was geared to turn me on. Not caressing, just awkward seemingly desperate groping.
My advice might get you into a few fights, Tilly, but here goes. When he does it, tell him about it, and tell him that you don't like it. Perhaps you could take his hands and tell and show him how you want him to touch you? In my case, it didn't help, and he'd go right back to it, at which point I'd go back to pushing him away. It's a tough position to be in.