My wife and I have been happily married for 7 years. we have know each other for almost 13 years and 6 months ago, things went south for us.

she had biatritic surgery 2 years ago and lost over 120Lbs. she found a new confidence and things start to wonder. we have a 3 year old boy that both of us adore.

6 months ago, she developed a feeling towards a co-worker/friend. he was going thru similar surgery and almost didn't make it.

3 months ago, she started an flirty email relationship with someone in other states. our counselor said she needs to end that EMOTIONAL AFFAIR before she can work on our marriage. she did, things got better.

3 weeks ago, she went to NY with her girlfriends... she meet a guy at the bar and made out few times. she felt extremely guilty and shame, now she wants to seek what she want in life.

my understanding is she doesn't want divorce but she doesn't want to hurt me anymore. she doesn't know why she is seeking other man, she said it's excitement and makes her feel good. but it's tearing me apart. we are currently sleeps in the separate room (by her request) and we are trying to work things out. She doesn't want to talk about her feelings, she doesn't want to talk about it. She think she just need time to straight things out in her head. we are both miserable and want this to work out.
Last week, she told me she is still texting this guy in NY, nothing serious but she enjoys his companion (i guess). at this time, she told me she will try to end that communication and seek therapy. My therapist i've been seeing side 3 months ago been very helpful and she doesn't think this is healthy.

she still want us to have dinner together as family, do things as family, i can hug and hold her hands but intimacy is out. she doesn't want to talk about it because she think it would hurt me. she misses me and I misses her. i don't want to pressure her and respect her space (she told me she need space and time and work this out on her own) but i don't think she has ended that communication yet. What shall I do? should I pressure her into ending that communication? i don't want to drive her away.

some days, i think there is hope... somedays I just dont know.

Jeff