Moo, I'm in the same situation. I earn the money while my H piddles around and spends it. The only reason I'm staying is b/c I feel sorry for him (what a pathetic excuse for a marriage) ... he'll have no house, no job, no money, a drinking problem, and untreated mental illness. What kind of person am I to kick out a person in that condition. I think about Matthew 25:40 (whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me) and think, am I doing right by him or wrong by him (enabling).

And, like you, I'd stand to lose tens of thousands of dollars b/c he chose not to work. It's all so confusing and sad.