Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Choppy, you're confusing me, but maybe not. You said you dont believe in consequences, that everything happens for a reason. I know I don't like when somebody says, "if you do that, there are going to be consequences!" That just sounds like bullying or threats, even if you're a kid. I mean, talk it out, find out what is really going on. In the cookie jar example, hey maybe the kid needs a snack, not a smack.
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No, I didn't say I don't believe in consequences. I said I don't believe in
coincidences. IMO, everything happens for a reason. Especially those pesky natural consequences.
I never tell someone (i.e. a client), "You do that and there are gonna be consequences!" I teach a class at work on abuse/neglect. There's no need to say it; saying it is mean. In the setting of my job, the telling is considered abusive. The consequences come on their own 99% of the time.
I don't think the kid deserves a smack OR a snack. Getting hurt by the cookie jar landing on their head, is the consequence. I would use each instance as a teaching moment; i.e. "Do you know why your head hurts?" If they don't understand, then tell them why, and leave it alone. You can even do this while letting the child know they are still loved.
ETA...EEK! I actually wrote consequence in place of coincidence on my thread. Freudian slip?
