(((Healed))),
I agree with others, that avoiding contact is the best.

As far as your feelings go, is there something in your marriage that is missing? You don't have to answer that, its just that sometimes if you aren't getting what you need in your marriage, you try to find it outside of the marriage. Or you could just be attracted to her. Just a few thoughts.
Keep us posted. I think it was brave to post, I am glad you did. Take care!