Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I have my own version of this, so I think I get the state.
But in my experience, it is possible for it not be so absolute in the shutting down. It is possible to have some awareness that one is engaging in it (as you must here, as even the recognition that this is happening is a crack between it and you) and it is possible to have some control over it. Over time, you can modulate your response, like a faucet, to more intermediate levels in between open and shut down. I think you may already be able to do this more than perhaps you realize.
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I can regulate my emotions, however, I do recognize that these feelings are big and old. Much harder to wrangle. The faucet setting feels like it's on/off.
I'm okay though. Haven't decompensated, haven't totally lost it. I have a plan to cope, and I'm working the plan.
I'll make it. I go to work tomorrow. Then to my therapist, afterward, I hope to go back to work.
Don't know though.