Ok, first of all, if you don't want to read about God and don't want to know anything about God, then don't read this.
I am only writing this to try to help anyone that needs it and share how I feel.
I'm sorry if this offends you, which I hope it doesn't.
Anyway...

Esthersvirtue,
I know how you feel because for a long time I felt the same way.. I went to church when I was little only because I was forced to. I would avoid going as much as possible, even by taking a looooong shower so that we wouldn't make it to church.
God wasn't in my life very much for YEARS {I regret that}. But as I got older, I felt so far from God and religion.. I felt lost and confused and alone.
I didn't know what was wrong.
About a year ago, I realized that I needed God in my life. I started to read the Bible and stuff, but I still didn't have much faith. I have to admit that I have doubted God so many times in my life, it's sad. I wondered why, if God is real, then why is there so many bad things happening in the world?.. Nobody could answer any of my questions. So, i figured that there were no answers and that I was right: God couldn't possibly exist.
But, this past weekend, i went away on this short course about religion. I went knowing noone, and feeling out of place because I knew that all the people going had SO MUCH faith, and I didn't. I felt like I didn't belong.
But that experience completely changed everything.
I had felt depressed for so long and after that, I see all my problems as not so bad, and I concentrate on all the good things I have, rather than the negative.
I was born Catholic, but I don't agree with ALOT of the beliefs.. I'm thinking of going to a Christian church because I believe that it is the better one for me..
but anyway, don't lose faith. Keep trying and when you are in doubt, look around.. How could everything be so perfect if there wasn't a God? How could a flower be so beautiful?
I found it hard to believe for a while because there is no proof of God, but with science, there is proof. But maybe God created science to give us some answers and evolve.. I don't know, that's just how I feel.
The bad things in the world happen because God gave us freedom. He let us think and have our own opinions, instead of being all the same, like robots.. how fun would that be?? not much.
If you find God, you will see that you feel better; I did.

I'm not trying to push my religion to other people.. If you want to consider what I say, then do it, if you don't, then that's okay.
Okay, well I guess that's all for now..
Send me a message if you want to talk..
Good luck with everything and God Bless You.
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