Hi Speed,
I have wondered how you have been doing, so thanks for checking in. Since both you and your husband are dealing with grief, both in your own way, is there any way that you are able to talk with someone sometimes? A therapist, a neighbor, a family member-someone? I know you have a decent supply of meds now, but you will have to talk to your doctor eventually, maybe you should consider seeing him sooner rather than later.
Meanwhile, Speed, keep checking in. We are here to listen.
Bluemountains