Esthervirtue-

I, also, have felt ar from God. Tell God how you feel, he will not only listen, but, I feel, he is actually CARRYING you right now....... I keep the poem, 'Footprints..' in my purse and every time I feel disconnected from God I am reminded- BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS< PLUS THIS IS THE WORST PART OF MY LIFE!! GOD ARE YOU UP THERE? Then I can hear God, my child, my child, I am carrying you, yes, your illness makes it hard to feel me, but I am carrying you!! Also, I would say try several more churches it took me ten before I found one with other mentally ill people..try support groups like depression bipolar support alliance dbsalliance.org or NAMI then ask people there where they go to church..a lot do..you are a true child of God to write what you did and get people talking about God and express a deep need for Him.