(((Ellie))))
I was 13, and during an EMDR session with xT, 'those' feelings were felt. xT asked what I was feeling and I told him I'd rather not say. He told me that was normal, so he knew, but it was embarrassing. These people groom children whether it be 5 or 15, and I know I can say it isn't our fault, but it still feels like since I was that much older, that I should have known better. He knew I was vulnerable and took advantage of that. He was the only one who told me I was smart, and I felt/feel dumb as a fence post. He would say, "this isn't cheating." I don't know if this happened to you or not, but this is an insidious form of abuse (as they all are) I am glad you are seeing your T and I know that you will make it through this. Keeping you in my thoughts.