My parents divorced close to two years ago I'm older I'm 21
And I understand they just did not get along
My dad has anger issues and I might do too.

The problem is my mom won't get over it
She keeps crying all this time begs him to come back but he just doesn't want to.
I do my best to keep her off of thinking and locked up in her room, she won't get a job, I beg her to eat!! It's all exhausting
I spend so much money taking her out to fancy places.. But she just won't change!!!

Yesterday my dad came over to give my younger sister money
My mom went after him crying and after he left she laid in the street crying !!
I could not believe this it broke my heart
I love her!!
She went to her room and for the first time I yelled at her
And ask her what was wrong with her!!
She kept saying she has no reason to live..
That made me mad!!
I kept yelling and I hitted myself really hard with my hands
Than I pushed her I wanted to hit her
I kept saying that she does not care for my sisters nor me!
She doesn't love us enough to pull herself together!!

Idk why I did that I never treated my mom like that before..
I'm tired

Hour later I came back to senses and went to hug her!!

Is something wrong with me?? Am I becoming a bad person?