I find it very difficult when the relationship/marriage has one person having to be the one to leave or initiate separation. The feeling of a dilemma when the person left still wants the relationship to continue, not wanting to be alone, feeling unwanted. I understand that pain.

It is a loss like death is a loss. Myself,I found the grieving process has no time limit, but the need to function for practical reasons is often difficult because of depression as well.

No you are not a bad person. You have a dilemma. Your mother is having a bad time, but you know that you and your sister need her to act as a mother.

You can not be an offspring and a parent at the same time. It is very difficult. Just understand that may have happened to you, to have those feelings and actions.

The sisters, you, and mother need support from a community mental health resource or some social or volunteer service.

You can always be accepted here at PC and perhaps you will find the help you need.

Take care. Remember, you are not a bad person. You cared enough for your mother(regrets) and your sisters(their need for their mother).