Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I cannot even begin to tell you how impressive you are to be courageous enough to even have that ability to deal with trying to physically heal the scars for your past. And you add on top of that having this kind of conversation with a physician and the thought that has to go into it.
Your ability to just get in there and confront this head on rather than running away or avoiding it is really inspirational. I also think that the way you are talking about the possibility of relapse and your ability/power to change your response from an unhealthy one to a healthy one is absolutely right on. It is true that we cannot control how we feel-- whether it is that swirl of depression, flush of anxiety, or what you call "not reality." But you are illustrating what our T's often call "changing our response." We can learn how to recognize the signs that it is coming or here and make different choices to how we respond to whatever is plaguing us. Thus the value of learning skills, be it mindfulness or whatever assortment or array of things ground us, and we can ask for help.
I am really grateful for you sharing you story with us and I wish you the best as you move forward. I really appreciate the opportunity to see how far you've come and admire everything you've accomplished. It helps remind me that I CAN do these things in my own life, too.
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Oh Anne2.0.... If I could reach through my computer and wrap my arms around you I would give you the biggest hug. Thank you so much. Your post really meant a lot to me. The greatest thing is that I can really see how much healthier I am now too. I can not believe how ill my mind really was and now I am so so much better. So much stronger. I have never felt more secure than I do right now. I am not going to think about what and when my mind will short circuit. I am just living in the moment. I have worked so hard. Years of therapy; Knock down drag out fights with my t, 72 hour holds, tased by police when I was psychotic. Horrible, horrible stuff and many of you have heard all about my struggles as they were happening and encouraged, supported, and challanged me. I am so grateful for all of you guys that have hung in there with me.
Dealing with my scars has been really hard. I cried all day on Thursday. I couldn't stop for anything. I think I was greiving all those dark painful times. I will see t tomorrow and talk about it and then Tuesday is my big day. I hope I can hold it together. Yikes!
CE- you're too funny. Yes, it is going to hurt if we need to do skin grafts. I don't have extra down there but they just scrape off your skin not any fat or muscle. I am hoping for a scar revision though. We are going to try that first.
I emailed my surgeon and asked him if he was going to take care of me on Tuesday. And he replied that he was going to take GREAT care of me! He is such a keeper. I am going to have sedation and he said it will be all numb and it won't hurt at all.
I will keep posting about this as it unfolds. I have to process this somewhere, it is just too big to hold on to myself and of course not many people in my life are people that understand this stuff. Yes, they see the scars and will see the changes but it is just one of those things that does not get talked about. Thank you Anne! Thank you to all of my PC pals that have supported me through out my journey to wellness. I am off and running!
KC