I remembered being terminated by a psychologist once, and I thought to myself is that all, and then I remembered I was banned from a psych ward at a hospital. That psychologist though.. well.. what a ****.
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Originally Posted by TheRealFDeal
(TRIGGER)
It's been 3 weeks since my T terminated me. Thursday nite I spent over 4 hours writing him a 5-page letter. There were some still unresolved issues and I needed to let him know how my life has spiraled down in in the last two months since he called the police on me. It felt very cathartic. It was not an angry diatribe. I owned up to the BPD traits wherever I thought they were showing. I dropped it off yesterday afternoon, and left him a voicemail that I had and I know he was there so I know he got it. And I know he works a half day on Saturday. I really tried not to have any expectations, really I did, but I was still disappointed he didn't call.
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I think knowing your motivations behind your actions is important.
1. did you write it just for you
2. did you write it because you were really hoping deep down he/she would call
3. All the above
In situations like this it's highly probable you'll be setting yourself up for failure if you're expecting something in return. In this case a phone call from your therapist. If you wrote the letter sticking to facts, and avoiding any kind of manipulation then I see no problem with what you did. You have the right to state how you feel. You don't have the right to a response. The specific dbt skill would be coping ahead, and you do it by preparing in advance what you'll do should you not get the desired outcome. It might look something like this..
I'm going to write a letter stating how I feel to my x therapist. I'd like a response, but if I don't get one I'll (insert whatever) <-- that would be your coping ahead skill. It's knowing all this **** in advance and going into it with the right mindset. The more you use it the easier it can be done. It can be done with just about anything where there is a possibility you won't receive the desired outcome.
You did accomplish your main objective though and that is what's most important.
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I got out of bed at 3:15pm. No reason, no motivation whatsoever to get out of bed. I cut myself this week, I tried to get in contact with my xT from years ago and was shunned by her. It's been a ****** two months with no breaks. I was planning on this week being my last and then I was finally successful at getting some T's to meet with me. I have 3 appts next week. So I give myself another week to live, and if none of them work out, well, I've had it, people. I'm done with this cold, cruel, intolerable, hurtful world we live in. I know that sounds like a lot of BPD drama, but who would understand better than you all?
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And here is an excellent opportunity for you to begin practicing your coping ahead skills.... You're meeting with 3 therapist next week... figure out a way to cope ahead in case those meetings don't go the way you want them to.